I wanted what every woman wants…
A flat belly, thighs that didn’t rub together when I walked, and the ability to wear whatever I wanted and feel like a million bucks.
To get there, I was doing what everyone said to do to slim down…
Eat healthy and exercise!
I had it all covered:
Cooking everything at home
Exercising 7 days a week
And STILL struggled to fit into my clothes.
Looking in the mirror, my eyes would go straight to my belly. Tearing up I’d say to myself, “Ugh, look how poochy your belly is!”, “Why isn’t this working?”, “You just have no discipline!”
I was becoming my own worst enemy.
So I decided to work even harder.
I decided to double up, sometimes triple, my workouts. I went from exercising 7 hours a week to 20. I even got a part time job teaching fitness classes thinking that would SURELY give me the body I had always longed for.
I loved teaching fitness classes. However, it still was not my ticket to sustainable change. I was so exhausted and depleted I felt like a slug. I suffered from cystic acne and started to push everyone away…spending the weekends in bed trying to get my energy back.
Adding up the numbers, I was burning about 1,300 calories a day.
Yet, I was still uncontrollable around food.
Taking the approach of “I need more discipline and to work harder”, I decided to do a juice cleanse.
I didn’t make it past the second day without wanting to rip everyone’s eyeballs out of their sockets I was so hungry and irritable.
And STILL the excess weight clung to me. Walking down the street, I could feel my body jiggle along with me.
From all of this, I was starting to feel like an overweight death zombie – heavy, bloated and lackluster.
My bubbly nature and zest for life was nowhere to be found.
And most of all, I was frustrated. I was sacrificing so much – my love of chocolate, dinners with my best friends, sleeping in on the weekends, parties, happy hours, traveling, being happy – to get the body that I wanted… only I wasn’t getting anywhere.
I felt stressed, exhausted and confused. What was I missing?
I started to feel like there was something wrong with me.
Like maybe, I wasn’t born with the gene to be thin…maybe, there was something wrong with my hormones… maybe, my thin body from my younger years was as good as it was going to get.
I’d look around and see other women having success with the very same things I was doing…but why not me?!
That’s when I discovered something about myself that shifted everything.
I was an emotional eater.
I always thought emotional eating meant I needed to saddle up on the couch with 10 bags of potato chips and eat every last one. Which, I wasn’t doing.
I learned I was a highly sensitive person.
And I saw I was using food to manage my emotions, energy and overwhelm.
That’s when I realized it was time to do things differently.
As I began to develop new, powerful, yet simple ways to manage my stress, anxiety and overwhelm without food, I dropped 10 pounds in 2 weeks.
My energy doubled and I felt more present, focused and grounded during my day. I no longer felt like I needed chocolate or a few glasses of wine to take the edge off.
Years later, I now see how I was continually searching for answers with diets, meal plans and exercise but none of those were addressing the real root of my issues: the sources of my overwhelm, how to manage my highly sensitive nature and how to cope with my emotions in a healthy way.
Now I have an empowered loving relationship with food and my body. I no longer feel like I’m fighting with myself. I know how to put myself first without feeling guilty, how to manage my energy and exactly what to eat, how to move and what thoughts to think to make me feel my best on a daily basis.
And the best part is, no matter what curve ball life throws me, I continue to feel comfortable, safe and at home in my body.
Now I help women – who similarly to me look for answers to slimming down in food and exercise without success – build a healthy relationship with food and their bodies.
I’m on a mission to help women put food back where it belongs. Where food is fuel. And teach them exactly how to care, cope and comfort themselves without food, alcohol or other self-destructive behaviors.